As we've gotten older, Damien has become somewhat reclusive, and a little less willing to hang out with our group. I've wondered why, and until recently it hadn't hit me. He's heart broken. He's loved one of (maybe the first) girlfriend he ever had since as long as I can remember. The problem was that they were both destined for different journeys in life and when the road split, so did they. She went on to focus on school and college, and Damien focused on work after school.
Even though she left, I think Damien always new they'd get back together. He waited and watched as she dated other guys and did her own thing, and even though I think this hurt him, he never judged her and took every opportunity he had to get close to her. She didn't just abandon him, I mean she'd talk to him on the net and call him and stop by on his b-day and stuff, but all that did was keep her close enough to keep him from letting her go.
I've come back from college only 2 years ago, and I've watched him struggle with anger, and sadness, and at times he seems just down right depressed. I've told Kim how I thought it was b/c he can't have her and I wished I could just find someone who'd love him like he loves her.
Well lately, she's been hanging out with him, and he's been happier than I've seen him in a really long time (only when he's with her though). I've just been hoping that she would want what he does: a relationship. But it's not so. She'll be going back to college soon, and he'll be back to normal.
The thing that caused me to write all this is something he posted to here on the net:
Its been six years and i still think about you every day, i dream about you every night, i thought the love we had would last forever and even though we still love each other i know the love u had for me changed, at times i think i would rather be alone and unhappy then to be without you, i never thought love could be so strong and i learned the hard way. I'm not gonna lie i won't ever be the same, i have changed a lot. i am angry, alone and wish you were here with me. but yet i deal with it every day. to tell the truth i don't know how much more i can take. i want to be with you and make you happy more than anything in the world, but if your not happy with me than i guess i should stop trying. you know who you are and you know how i fill, i just wish i could be happy with the relationship we have. i love you so much
love, Damien
When I read this, I felt a lot of emotions: anger, sadness, and an overall need to help him move on. He's a good guy and he deserves a good girl (not that I dislike her as a person).
I just hope he reads this, b/c this is to him:
Damien,
You're a good guy. You have one of the biggest hearts that any girl could ever want. I know you love her, but don't sell yourself short. There is someone with as much passion for you as you have for her. Someone who would love to spend all their time with you. Someone who'd love to call you and sleep next to you, and do all the things that'd you'd love to do with her. It hurts me and your bro and everyone around you to see you hurt. I know you can't just give her up, but I think you owe it to yourself to move on and find someone who is as good of a person as you are. You're my little broham man, and I just want you to be happy.
Love you man,
Rob
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